Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
