you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
