they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
