my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
two words...techno handjob
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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