I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
