I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
