When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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