just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
