I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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