Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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