I faked an abortion last night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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