Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
