I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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