This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
God I need to hump something, right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
