So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
