At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize