Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
