I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
