I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
