Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize