Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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