You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
