Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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