This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The feeling are messing with the penis
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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