she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
