and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In America we eat man semen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize