After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
His hands were made for my vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
