Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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