so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
