would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
