cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
