No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
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See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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