I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
