Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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