Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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