No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
