Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
