38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
