Your dad touched me again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
