did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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