I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
