No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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