Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
