I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My dick has a subreddit
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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