at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
