I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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