I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The adults are the big ones right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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