i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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