nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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