a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
