if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize