How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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