If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
