Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
