I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
