There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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