Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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