I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
