The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
