Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
