whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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