Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Your dad touched me again.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
